Ten ideas too many

Diarrhea of the brain. That's what too may ideas gets you.

As a filmmaker, I realize the limitations of time/space/energy/resources/etc. Even Woody Allen can only make one movie a year. Last year I embarked on two. A Buddhist horror film: Mantra. And a documentary on Peruvian music: Vías Perdidas. Meanwhile I was still finishing my zombie musical: Eat Me. Now, as I wade my way through the editing process, my mind wanders to the next project. I have 11 ideas that come to mind (and more surely on the way).

1. One Billion Breaths - a Hindi vampire movie about a sadhu who steals women's breaths (using tantric sex positions) to keep himself eternally young.

2. The Werewolves of Ramadan - a methaphorical fiction about a young bread seller in Cairo torn between indulgence and piety on the high holy days. Tagline: The difference between East and West is night and day.

3. Norwegian Porn - a mock documentary about an American adult movie filmed in Norway.

4. 69 - a naughty comedy about equality between the sexes.

5. Don't Hurry to Heaven - a musical about a busker and a ghost, starring singer/songwriters Devon Sproule and Paul Curreri.

6. Gingerbread - a dramatic TV series about suburban gentrification.

7. Squirrels and Chipmunks - a documentary about a neurological clinic in Maryland.

8. Raised by Wolves - a documentary about the failures of the public schools, behind the self-congratluatory false self-assessments.

9. Bagattaway - a sports documentary about the Iroquois nation lacrosse team.

10. Dive - a fictional narrative about gypsy dumpster divers in a Walmartized America, using the music of the Accordian Death Squad.

11. HOV - a fictional narrative about a lonely commuter who longs for the fast life of the HOV lane, but gets more than that when he picks up an eccentric "slug" at the Park and Ride.